What, really, is an otaku?

Introduction

What is an otaku? In the west, an otaku is someone who consumes a lot of Japanese animated and drawn media - anime and manga. fnv:{c::HillsTranscultOtaku:5f;;. Here and elsewhere, I will call the media that otaku consume 'anime and manga'. In fact, the media landscape is much more diverse. Visual novels/dating sims especially are a genre arguably nearly as influential to otaku culture as anime/manga. (Cf. c::GalOtaku:87f;;.) However, I will stick to anime/manga, since these media are most likely to be familiar to the reader} In Japan, otaku are defined as people who are interested in a particular genre or object, are extraordinarily knowledgeable about it, but are lacking in social common sense[.]fn:{c::KamTheCommonSenseOtaku;;, as cited in c::GalOtaku:8;;} - a term seemingly similar to 'nerd' or 'geek'. Open and shut case. And yet, there is a large amount of discourse in western countries and Japan alike about what otaku are and how they are the savior of the post-bubble economyfnv:{c::GalAkiba:217;;} (more rarely) or failed men who watch kiddie pornfnv:{c::GalOtakuFailedMen:24ff;;, c::KuboJapanKiddiePorn;;} (more often).

While this might be dismissed as mere breathless tabloid reporting, whenever a group is so simply damned for what seems like obvious and perhaps somewhat ridiculous deviancy, we should pay attention. Based in large part on the fieldwork and extensive set of publications by anthropologist Patrick Galbraith, I will argue that the otaku is, through many lenses, distorted in such a way that the shadow they cast bears little resemblance to the actual thing. By being the point at which many different identities are negotiated, such as nationalism and orientalism but mainly gender and one's general social identity the otaku signifies many things to many people, but rarely themselves.

I will examine this discourse first from the perspective of foreign discourse (English-language foreign discourse, to be precise) about Japan, otaku, and anime, and then from the perspective of the Japanese national discourse on otaku, and especially on the Japanese 'critics' of otaku. After unraveling this discourse, I will set forth a tentative theory of how otaku might be understood to be living a genuinely different and radical conception of gender and human relationships. This will be ameliorated by considering some objections that are genuinely problematic to the self-conception of otaku. However, I conclude that in important ways, otaku are living a different conception of the good life. They might even be offering us hints on how one might live a life more free of the shackles that keep us married, hard-working, and depressed. Will we listen?

The English-language discourse: Loving pillows, loving girls

As stated in the introduction, when not refering to Japanese otaku, otaku is roughly synonymous with anime/manga fan. English-language media seems to prefer focusing on Japanese otaku, however - the discourse we will analyze is no exception. Western otaku do share some of the deep ambivalence about being otaku, fnv:{c::HillsTranscultOtaku:5ff;;} and will therefore help us elucidate some of the discontents of being an otaku near the end of this paper - but for now, let's put them aside.

It is surprising how often the discussion of otaku, who one would assume should be primarily defined through their media consumption, instead centers on their sexual activity. fn:{Or not. This is actually quite common, cf. c::HillsTranscultOtaku:3;;} Specifically, they seem to be defined by two moments, an absence of 'normal sexual behavior' and a presence of 'abnormal sexual behavior.' Even more explicitly: What is missing from otaku - who are in this narrative almost always male fnv:{c::GalOtaku:91;;} - is proper masculine sexual intercourse with a woman. Instances of this assumption are legion. A particularly memorable one is cited by c::HillsTranscultOtaku;;: a 1995 book features an otaku quizzed on his sex life. The otaku does not want to answer the question, and tries to evade it. The interviewer presses: Has he or has he not in fact had sex with a human? fnv:{c::HillsTranscultOtaku:3f;;}

However, otaku cannot be merely defined by their lack of sexual desires - such an idea is alien, since 'wanting to have sex with many women' is part and parcel of the hegemonic American masculine identity. Therefore, more than just stories about 'sad men', western media and culture often focus on the ridiculous and deviant sexual behavior that exists to fill this supposed lack. fnv:{c::GalCoolJapan:109;;} In some cases, this merely emphasizes the sad loneliness of being 'too attached' to something that is 'not real'. In popular culture, body pillows with anime characters drawn on them have come to hypersignify this sort of failing, as one can see in parodies such as the one in the sitcom 30 Rock. There, James Franco holds a body pillow, interacting with it and calling it Kimiko, much to the audience's amusement. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:59f;;} fig:{James Franco and Kimiko:right:33:francoKimiko.jpg} What's supposedly sad here, and in other cases such as having a 'waifu' (a character towards which one is very attached) fnv:{c::GalOtaku:93;;} or an AI companion fnv:{c::GalOtaku:6ff;;} is not just the loneliness, but of course also the person's failed masculinity. But one needn't stop there: Many of the characters on those body-pillows, and most characters in manga and anime generally, are underage. fn:{High-school age seems to be the most common age group. Sadly, good data does not seem to exist, so this is necessarily a subjective evaluation of a small subset of anime, in this case the 100 most popular anime, available at MyAnimeList amongst others} If otaku desire these underage characters, how much of a leap is it really to say that otaku consume child pornography? And how much further is it to say that Japan as a whole has a child pornography problem? Such a thought process seems to be behind headlines such as 'Japan's Kiddie Porn Empire: Bye-Bye?' fn:{c::KuboJapanKiddiePorn;;} In this way, the boundaries between the Other of the sexual deviant, the otaku, and the Japanese begins to blur, so that questions such as Why is there such a fascination with sexual interaction with young girls - known as [l]o[l]i[c]on (Lolita complex) fn:{The Japanese word ロリコン would ordinarily be romanized as 'rorikon'. However, since Japanese does not distinguish between l-like and r-like sounds (and there is no difference between c and k), it would be equally possible to transcribe it as 'lolicon', which, given the spelling of the root words in English, I will prefer} in Japan? fn:{c::GalCoolJapan:110;;} become salient. Perversion, pathology, and perhaps even criminality so become part and parcel with the western view of otaku.fn:{c::GalCoolJapan:110;;}

In this way, the western viewer is incentivized to redefine otaku or look away: Discussions of lolicon remain taboo, fnv:{c::GalCoolJapan:115ff;;} and in my experience, explicit discussion of lolicon only exist at the very edges of the western anime community. Consequently, not many otaku identify as lolicon. Nevertheless, I will follow the example of the media and treat criticisms of lolicon as criticisms of otaku. This follows from the current manga and anime style and culture: Most anime and manga are drawn in moe style and include moe characters.fn:{c::ManeetaphoTheMoe;;} Moe will come up later as an affective response, but here it acts as a shorthand for a cute style that evolved from the shoujo style, also discussed later.fn:{c::ManeetaphoTheMoe;;} This, taken together with the fact that sexualization is not rare in manga or anime fn:{c::ChoFacetAnime:495;;} (although 'actual sex' is exceedingly rare) and the previously mentioned fact that many of the many female characters are underage, makes almost every manga/anime potentially lolicon. While it might be possible to separate more and less egregious examples, I remain deeply suspicious of attempts to separate 'good/normal' and 'weird' otaku. Therefore, I will see criticism of lolicon as criticism of otaku, even where they would not self-identify as such.

This is also visible in the video used as a source for the above paragraph: fig:{:right:40:moeFBI.png} Even though the video is about moe and doesn't feature any mention of lolicon or egregious sexualized scenes, the first comment (at time of writing) is still an in-joke referencing pedophilia: If you listen closely you can hear the FBI rushing toward's Gigguk's house[,]fn:{c::ManeetaphoTheMoe;;} - clearly a reference to illegal child pornography.

Western academia, too, has taken aim at lolicon. c::SavageJusLooking;; cites a whole host of studies aimed to prove that lolicon is directly linked to 'abnormal sexual desire', real-world child abuse, and therefore is in some sense wrong. Psychological and moral categories such as 'predatory', 'disturbing', 'compulsive cycles', 'misogynistic' amongst many others are marshalled in an attempt to make knowledge about otaku and Japan and thus critique these behaviors. fnv:{Mackie 2010 and Norma 2015, via c::GalOtaku:19f;;}

As a final remark on the English-language discourse, let us observe that not the entire discourse on otaku is negative: There is also a prevalent strand of discourse that sees otaku and Japan as the epitome of cool. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:109;;}

Otaku in Japanese national discourse: Between vilifying and educating

Otaku, in the meaning used in this paper, is a relatively new word. オタク, as it would be spelled, is derived from お宅, pronounced the same but meaning 'you' (amongst other things). fnv:{c::AhlströmJishoOtaku;;} The context in which it was coined was a guest column talking to the 'you' of the reader in a magazine (Manga Burikko) aimed at people enjoying the cute and sometimes risqué art style that we now know as lolicon style. In this column, the author Nakamori lumps together anyone he considers enjoying their passions 'too much' - trainspotters, fans of all stripes, and of course what we would consider otaku in the west, that is, (super)fans of manga and anime. fnv:{c::GalOtakuFailedMen:26;;} But while this remains the standard definition up to this day, Nakamori immediately focuses on the otaku associated with liking their favorite characters all too much (what will later be called moe or the moe affect) and asks: Do 'Otaku' Love Like Normal People? fn:{c::GalOtakuFailedMen:26;;} From there, he riffs through the main points of their supposedly faulty and warped sexuality: They have a '2-d complex', they 'lack male skills' and could never 'get with a woman', they are 'strangely faggy'. fnv:{c::GalOtakuFailedMen:26;;}

Facing understandable backlash, the editor of Manga Burikko decides relatively quickly to end the guest column. However, in the last installation of the column, another writer (Eji Sonta) decides to take one last swing at otaku: They are unwilling to 'grow up', 'accept reality' and especially the social role of family head and provider - in sum, they have a 'reality problem'. fn:{c::GalOtakuFailedMen:28f;;} Seemingly one point, there are actually two conflicting ideas here: otaku have a 'reality problem' in the sense that they can't tell reality from fiction, and in the sense that they don't want to accept the social reality of Japan. fnv:{c::GalOtakuFailedMen:30;;}
No one represents the discourse of otaku failing to tell reality from fiction better than Miyazaki Tsutomu, fn:{not to be confused with Miyazaki Hayao} a serial killer, cannibal, child rapist and necrophile fnv:{c::GalOtaku:50;;} who targeted children between the ages of 4 and 7, and was found to be an otaku. In popular discourse, this became the motive for his crimes as well as his identity - in other words, he became The Otaku Murderer.fnv:{c::GalOtakuFailedMen:30;;; c::FreedmanTrainMan;;, § 30} He was presumed to have become a serial killer due to his different and excessive consumption of and engagement with manga and anime - he owned many video tapes, had gone to Comiket, fn:{Comiket is an incredibly large convention for self-published manga (doujinshi). Cf. c::ComicMarketWhat;;} and had produced fanzines - and as such, he became the symbol of a new idea of the otaku, the 'dangerous otaku'. fnv:{c::PauseOtherMiyazaki;;}

This discourse of the 'dangerous' otaku will sound similar to anyone familiar with the moral panics surrounding 'satanic music' or 'dangerous video games' in the US and Germany, respectively. However, why are otaku said to be rejecting the social reality in Japan? The work of c::DasguSalarymen;; has shown that despite statements by individuals and governments promising, accepting, and promoting other modes of living besides the patriarchal man-as-breadwinner, woman-as-homemaker mode of living, exactly this patriarchal norm still exerts profound pressure on men, and in turn these men and the structures they inhabit exert profound pressure on other men to conform to this norm. Specifically, in interviews with white-collar workers in northern Japan, he elucidates that for men to become shakaijin (responsible members of society), they have to - in their own view - not only becoming employed full-time at a company but also get married and start a family. fnv:{c::DasguSalarymen:172ff;;} People who do not so conform are hanninmae, … half a person … not independent individuals but children waiting to grow up[.] fn:{c::DasguSalarymen:173;;} One can see, then, how otaku are failing to live up to these expectations and therefore constitute a social problem.

This is also reflected in supposedly positive portrayals of otaku: Train Man (densha otoko), originally a supposedly true story told in posts on 2-Channel, fn:{A very popular Japanese internet forum} is a redemption story. An otaku (the eponymous 'Train Man') saves a woman from sexual harassment and subsequently, a romantic relationship develops. It ends with the Train Man giving up his otaku-ness (literally he 'graduates' from it) to live a normal, happy life with his girlfriend - and one presumes they'll be married before too long. When adapted as a TV series, the final episode drew 25.5% of the national television audience. While promoting a less alarmist and more positive portrayal of otaku, the story still treats being otaku as an undesirable trait, one that should be overcome through self-improvement to find happiness in the societally sanctioned institution of heterosexual marriage. Notably, in most adaptions, the otaku is ugly - and the one adaption that does not display him as such was criticized by critics for being unrealistic. As the story progresses, he becomes more attractive in dress and hairstyle. In this way, otaku seem to be potential romantic partners and responsible members of society, only in need of education and guidance - again, otaku become metaphorical children. fnv:{c::FreedmanTrainMan;;}

Far from just telling otaku how they should act, this story does more: It subtly claims that otaku want to escape from their lifestyle, but can't. This is exemplified in the many guides to love and fashion that came out in the wake of Train Man, purporting to teach otaku the skills necessary to 'get the girl'. fnv:{c::FreedmanTrainMan;;, § 25, 36} As c::FreedmanTrainMan;; states:These guides attempt to profit from the belief that all otaku are members of a subculture unified by shame[.]fn:{c::FreedmanTrainMan;;, § 36} (Emphasis mine) True or not, this is a convenient idea for Japanese society: By pairing up previously undesirable but now upgraded otaku with the career-focused, unmarried women known as 'loser dogs' (make inu), fn:{Calling unmarried, but successful women 'loser dogs' may sound counter-intuitive for western audiences - after all, these are the women we celebrate on magazine covers and whose books sell millions of copies. However, at least in the assessment of parts of Japanese society, being married is the only criterion that makes one a kachi inu (winner dog). Cf. c::FreedmanCountHave:299f;;., 305f} the problem of these otherwise perhaps resistant identities is solved, and these now happily married couples can go on to fix the problem of Japan's extraordinarily low birthrate. fnv:{c::FreedmanTrainMan;;, § 40ff}

Other positive images of otaku similarly position them as mere tools: One point that is often made is that otaku are superconsumers and should be valued for the boost their economic activity gives the Japanese economy, which has become especially important since the economic crash and subsequent stagnation of the 1990s. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:87;;}

Fujoshi

While much of the criticism of otaku in Japan is undoubtedly gendered, it is important to note that many of the stereotypes and criticisms of otaku find their parallel in criticisms of fujoshi. Fujoshi, written as 腐女子 and as such literally meaning 'rotten girl', are girls and women enthusiastic about yaoi, a genre that focuses on male-male romance and sex, though these men often do not identify as homosexual. Criticisms of fujoshi also tend to focus on the fact that they fantasize about sex that is not child-bearing. Fujoshi, however, seem to be more focused on keeping yaoi as a separate part from their normal, heterosexual lives. fnv:{c::GalFujoshi:211ff;;}

Taking stock: Differences in the Japanese and English-language perspectives

If we are trying to see the stereotypical views of otaku in order to see through them, it is important to consider in how far either the perspective of us as (probably) non-Japanese readers color us, that is not to imagine a nightmare of sameness in which a global and homogenized culture seep[ing] across East and West.fn:{c::HillsTranscultOtaku:4;;} On the other hand, we need to be careful to steer clear of ascribing any and all differences in the discourse to some sort of essential Japanese culture or Japaneseness. fnv:{c::HillsTranscultOtaku:2ff;;}

Nationalization

In the struggle for the identity of otaku, the Japanese state itself has a special interest, since their 'cool Japan' policies are invested in using anime and manga to promote the relevance of Japan abroad - and thus responsible for the higher public profile of the less-cool aspects of anime and manga. This, in turn, has led Japan to be more interested in policing these areas. fnv:{c::GalCoolJapan:122f;;}
In a sense, then, all of this coverage of otaku in the English-speaking world is obliging these wishes - however, not everyone is happy: Many Japanese leaders now fear that the view of Japan being promoted is not the one they wish people to have. As an important Japanese businessman memorably summarizes:It would be terrible if, under the banner of Cool Japan, we instead became Porno Japan.fn:{c::GalOtaku:127;;} There are hints that this might indeed be happening. Morley and Robins 1995, cited by c::HillsTranscultOtaku;; claim that otaku provide a 'symbol' for Japaneseness, beings that despise physical contact and love media, technical communication and the realm of reproduction and simulation in general.fn:{Morley and Robins (1995), p. 169f., cited in c::HillsTranscultOtaku:9;;} Likewise, it's unclear if James Franco's 30 Rock parody is meant to parody otaku or Japan - probably both. In seeking explanations, western media outlets like to connect the salient phenomenon of otaku with the salient phenomenon of Japan's low birthrate, explaining thatyoung Japanese people aren't having sexbecause they prefer being romantically involved with fictional girls. fn:{c::GalOtakuFailedMen:31;;} This fits comfortably in the orientalizing tradition of stories about 'weird Japan'. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:53;;} Academia seems if anything more vulnerable to this tendency: In the case of c::SavageJusLooking;;, a single sentence is enough to generalize her assertions to the whole of Japan. fnv:{c::SavageJusLooking:40;;} In this way, in both the Japanese and the English-language discourse otaku signify much, producing a similarly emotionally discourse as well as a similarly hysterical tone. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:60;;}

Patriarchy International

A similarity can also be found in the treatment of otaku sexuality: This maps relatively cleanly on Gayle Rubins analysis that societies separate sex into 'good' and 'bad' sex, and that good sex is safe, non-commercial, non-violent, coupled, heterosexual, focused on male genital penetration of the female genitals, monogamous and aimed toward childbirth, while bad sex is the opposite. fn:{c::GalCoolJapan:118;;, summarizing c::RubinDeviations;;} This focus is obvious in the international depictions of otaku. Nakamori even gets so explicit as to become a case study for Rubin's ideas by setting up an actual hierarchy of objects of sexual desire: From real women over nude photos of real women to the lower category of idol singers and finally, anime characters. fnv:{c::GalOtakuFailedMen:27;;} In both spheres, too, otaku are treated as too interested in non-real characters, as too feminine and failing in their masculine roles. Here, a tension reveals itself: On the one hand, otaku are presumed to genuinely desire the characters they profess to desire, on the other hand, they are seen as failed men that could not get with 'real girls' - presuming that they want to. As we have seen, this is the premise that the argument that otaku would act out these sexual urges on real children - or just act out this frustration by murdering people. While the perspective in Japan has shifted more to the latter idea of otaku-as-potential-predators, both views still exist - and are necessary to sustain the idea of otaku as child-predators: Without their genuine attraction to underage characters, there is no reason to presume otaku becoming child-predators, as opposed to just predators generally. Without presuming that their attraction to characters is just a sublimation or sad excuse for 'real desire', there would be no reason to assume otaku to be predators in the first place.

While Train Man has no clearly otaku-focused equivalent in the English-speaking world, it is basically identical to the countless 'geek gets girl' narratives common in Hollywood as elsewhere, in which the protagonist must become the dominant partner before the relationship can succeed. fnv:{c::FreedmanTrainMan;; § 35} In general, in the English-speaking world, otaku might be told to 'get a life', fnv:{c::GalOtakuFailedMen:31;;} however the ideal to be striven towards seems to be less a happily coupled socially responsible existence and more living out some kind of virile manliness. From both the perspective of social responsibility or virile manhood, living life mainly concerned with consumption of manga and anime is treated as invalid.

All these ideas, the ones elucidated in this subsection as well as in the first two sections on English-language and Japanese discourse about otaku, share something in common: They define a way a man (or sometimes, perhaps, a 'responsible citizen', or a 'normal person') should be, and define otaku as somehow deficient in relation to those standards. Relying on extensive feminist work in the last half-century, I take it that categories such as 'responsible citizen', 'normal person', and of course 'man' are not given, that is, don't just exist, don't have a stable essence. Instead, they represent normative categories of what people should, according to 'society at large', be. fn:{This represents a broad synthesis of feminist work. Cf. c::ButlerGenderTrouble;; and c::RubinDeviations;;, also cited elsewhere in this paper, amongst many, many others} Therefore, by criticizing otaku as failing to fit in to these categories, they are not defining otaku so much as their own values, that is, they are less interested in seeing otaku themselves, and more interested in seeing an Other. Put another way: It may or may not be true that otaku are not interested in women. It does not directly follow, however, that they are 'failed men' or 'strangely faggy.'

Otaku in their own words…

Having seen many kaleidoscopic views of otaku, let us now again ask: What is an otaku?
It seems clear that in some way, otaku are defined by the relationship they have towards their media and more specifically, the characters within these media. This relationship is often called moe, written as the nominalization of 萌える 'to bud, sprout' but probably a misspelling of 燃える 'to burn'. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:63;;} Consequently, what defines an otaku, as we shall see, is their relationships with characters and people, and the strong emotions - moe - they feel for them. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:61ff;;. There is of course no 'otaku essence', the following should be taken as ways of 'doing otaku'}

2-D, 2.5-D, 3-D

One thing that tripped up our critics from before was their lack of understanding whether otaku really desired the characters, or if the characters were just stand-ins. In this context, it will be helpful to use a distinction made by many otaku between the 'three-dimensional' (sanjigen) and the 'two-dimensional' (nijigen), which, rather than denoting actual dimensions or a distinction between real and fictional, denote a distinction between the (real) human world and the (equally real) manga/anime world. It follows that 2.5-dimensional would refer to a liminal space between, a space often said to be filled amongst other things by maid cafés. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:10;;} The example of maid cafés will help us clarify these concepts: There, waitresses called 'maids' (meido) serve customers in a ritualized manner, acting similarly to anime/manga characters in the process. They are thus both denizens of the three-dimensional world (since they are human) and of the two-dimensional (since they are characters), thus becoming 2.5-dimensional. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:150;;. This interpretation is not uncontested, some otaku would argue maid cafés are fully two-dimensional. In general, maid cafés provide further insight into the ideas mentioned in this whole section. For an in-depth view, see c::GalOtaku;;, chapter 5}

Otaku and moe

The beginning of the otaku community coincides with the movement away from a more realistic drawing style called gekiga and towards a cuter and rounder style that is still typical of most anime and manga to this day. This style first appeared in shoujo ((for) girls) manga and birthed the bishoujo (cute/beautiful girl) character. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:24;;} People began to feel a powerful attraction towards these characters, although what sort of attraction was not clear. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:30;;} Over time, this has resulted in a diverse material culture, as c::GalOtaku;; points out:Manga/anime characters appear not only across media but also in various material forms—figurines, dolls, body pillows[.]fn:{c::GalOtaku:63;;} Towards these characters - but importantly not towards 'real' people, except when performing as characters; that is, denizens of the two-dimensional - one can feel moe. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:63;;, 86} None other than perhaps the most famous anime filmmaker Hayao Miyazaki fn:{Not to be confused with the murderer Miyazaki} confessed - though with many qualifiers and conversational hedges - to have fallen in love with an anime character when he was a young adult. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:73f;;} Perhaps this is not so odd: Falling in love with stars, who are in a sense as unreal as anime characters are, is seen to be a fairly normal part of being a teenager - although this is something one is supposed to grow out of. This sense of 'teenage folly', which was also present in the earlier criticisms, can hide the genuine strength of these feelings, however. Quoting Saitou Tamaki (who is referring to Hayao Miyazaki), c::GalOtaku;; states:

[T]o love an anime is, in other words, to love (moeru) the beautiful girls in anime. An anime creator is born from the experience of moe as a trauma, and the next generation of anime fans finds moe in the heroines he creates. fn:{c::GalOtaku:74;;}

In other words, the feeling of moe is so strong as to motivate a person's whole artistic career, an idea also echoed by others. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:82;;} Even thirty years or more later, recalling characters that these people fell in love with produces an emotional response, and they flag their affection by using suffixes showing affection such as '-chan' and describing these characters as their 'first love.' fnv:{c::GalOtaku:83;;}

Miyazaki is quick to qualify that these feelings are definitely not a replacement or the equal of feelings towards 'real women.' fnv:{c::GalOtaku:74;;} Others are not so sure:People don’t imagine a relationship with an anime character because they couldn’t get a girlfriend, but rather they fell in love with a character in the first place…fn:{c::GalOtaku:93;;} Though the depth and length of feeling moe varies, certainly many would assert that moe is no less emotionally significant, no less committed, and no less valuable than love towards a 'real person.' fnv:{c::GalOtaku:92f;;} Many would consider themselves 'bisexual' for inhabitants of both the three-dimensional and two-dimensional. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:94;;} For many others, however, feeling moe is a double-edged sword. In describing his feelings towards a female character in one of his works, Hayao Miyazaki notes:

It’s a feeling of extraordinary longing and frustration, an awareness of another world that is out of reach… fn:{c::GalOtaku:78;;}

Otaku = queer?

Even outside the relationships with characters and rejection of love capitalism, otaku do things that we might conceptualize as a different way of 'doing gender', in the sense of Butler. fn:{Judith Butler has published extensively on the construction of gender, and her ideas implicitly underlie the ideas in this paragraph. In short, she argues that gender, rather than being an identity, is constructed and reconstructed through normal daily acts, which she would call performances. For more info, see c::ButlerGenderTrouble;;} In this context, c::GalOtaku;; argues that anime and manga are uniquely positioned to allow radical (re)imagination of identity and relationships, since both in style and in their mode of storytelling they are very different from reality and more 'real' media such as film. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:11;;} Quoting McCloud, he states:

When you look at a photo or realistic drawing of a face you see it as the face of another. But when you enter the world of the cartoon you see yourself… fn:{c::GalOtaku:12;;}

While this is all well and good, how do otaku actually reimagine identity? Above, we had said that the consumption of media featuring bishoujo characters was due to genuine desire towards the characters themselves. However, more than just this, we can also see identification with the bishoujo characters. From the 1970s onwards, when shoujo manga as well as the subset of shoujo manga known as BL (Boy's Love) manga became popular, shoujo manga had a male readership. There is, for example, Itou Kimio, who encountered shoujo manga and describes that his generation was able to use BL manga to liberate [themselves] from the pretense [of being] tough guys.fn:{c::GalOtaku:20ff;;} Many men seemed and seem to be drawn to the idea of being part of these worlds, especially those fantastical worlds full of kindness and color, or even being one of the (mostly female) main characters, and by being immersed in this world to be and to feel like 'a girl', that is, feel and act as if located in a social position that society largely reserves for 'girls'. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:30ff;;} Again Miyazaki: This type of youth [young males, mentioned before] begins to feed the girl within himself. The girl is part of him, and a projection of himself… These girls express nostalgia for a self that was free of the detritus of life. The girl is not living outside of him; she is the very self that he has nurtured inside himself.fn:{c::GalOtaku:79;;} This all is to say that otaku are attracted to female manga and anime characters with the strength that they are in part because these allow the otaku to play with gender, a play that is both freeing and fun. And one needn't stop there: Within the world of animation, one might learn to live in worlds of 'plasmatic possibility.' fnv:{c::GalOtaku:81;;} Though not completely equivalent, genderbending by costuming as a character of a different gender ('crossplay') is also common. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:111ff;;} otaku also at times advocate a broad alliance between them and other queer groups, including people of 'heretical sexual orientations', people loving boys, as well as the unpopular more generally. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:118;;}

Also relevant are the artistic (and pornographic) works of the contributors to 'parody' magazines in the shoujo style: Artists such as Azuma Hideo drew not only in the cute shoujo style but would often parody or leave out men entirely - in stark contrast to the penetration-dominated pornographic style of the gekiga. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:28;;} When a lolicon-magazine ran a mostly naked model on one page and a bishoujo-style image on the other, this produced a backlash - in favor of removing images of 'real' women entirely. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:42ff;;} This points to an understanding of sexuality that is deeply uncomfortable with the hegemonic, power-focused narratives available.

Otaku vs. love capitalism

A criticism of otaku mentioned before was that otaku fail to become shakaijin, that is, married and family-supporting responsible members of society. Preconditioned as this is on a stable and well-paid job, it has become more difficult with the collapse of the bubble economy in the late 1980s.fnv:{c::GalOtaku:10;;} More importantly, otaku often feel uncomfortable with the system that preconditions love and affection on financial success and performing masculinity, termed 'love capitalism.' (ren'ai shihonshugi) fnv:{c::GalOtaku:92;;} Being an otaku and feeling moe is a way of opting out from these impossible ideals that creates so-called losers fn:{c::GalOtaku:93;;} as well as the potential unhappiness of giving up oneself - as required of anyone following the shakaijin path:

'Giving up on life' – you often hear it on TV and things, and also when friends get married they say things like 'Well, it’s all over' … For all of them [i.e. his friends], you get married, and after the children are born the wife doesn’t work, so on just your own income, after taking into account money needed for supporting the wife and kids, there’s nothing left over for enjoyment … I guess it’s just continuous endurance, endurance, endurance, endurance, but even then, they seem to get some basic level of enjoyment out of it! fn:{c::DasguSalarymen:178;;}

The contrast drawn by those speaking on love capitalism is stark and almost certainly often based on the life experiences of those talking. fnv:{c::GalOtaku:93;;} Even so, many otaku would probably not feel comfortable calling their way of living a 'mere alternative, given the circumstances.'

Plural otaku

While it must necessarily remain brief, it is important to mention that otaku is not an identity that precludes interacting with people, whether three-dimensional co-otaku or 2.5-dimensional characters such as maids or cosplayers. Otaku meet to collaborate on fanzines, hang out at conventions, and experience their favorite media together. In Tokyo, Akihabara (often shortened to Akiba) is - though highly contested - a site where consumption, co-creation, performance amongst others coexist, all while maintaining the ability to be who one wants to be, fnv:{c::GalOtaku:97ff;;} to escape the principle of identity[.] fn:{c::GalOtaku:106;;}

Giving up on otaku

While there isn't much literature on giving up being an otaku, we can draw some conclusions based on the experience of Fujoshi. Fujoshi, much as otaku, value their ability to see more in the world than 'normals.' fnv:{c::GalMoeFujoshi;;} Specifically in the case of fujoshi, many feel the need to 'graduate' once 'real-life' demands increase, a moment that in c::GalFujoshi;; feels profoundly sad. fnv:{c::GalFujoshi:227ff;;} It is, in it'sloss for space for queer fantasyfn:{c::GalFujoshi:228;;} similar to a loss of childhood and play, the kind that we often lament and mourn. But is this the only reason one gives up being an otaku, a fujoshi - or could it be that being otaku has its discontents?

… But can we believe them?

When reading the anthropology of Galbraith, there remains one thing that is hard to square: While the portrayals and self-portrayals in Galbraith are generally positive, anybody who has spent any time as part of the English-speaking online anime community will know that self-loathing is common. The traces of this are numerous and easy to find: Memes such as 'anime is trash and so am I', fnv:{c::GoogleAnimeIsTrash;;} complaints about loneliness and depression as well as anger at the inability to live up to one's own expectations of being more sociable, productive or successful are all part of common discourse. fig:{Comments showing the discontents of the English-speaking anime community:center-long:100:commentsAnimeDiscomfort1.png:commentsAnimeDiscomfort2.png:commentsAnimeDiscomfort3.png:commentsAnimeDiscomfort4.png:commentsAnimeDiscomfort5.png:commentsAnimeDiscomfort6.png} In personal communication, even people who consumed a lot of anime and would be considered to be otaku (at least in the West) did not share the attitudes described by Galbraith above; how much of this remains true in Japan requires further research and is outside of the scope of this paper. Ameliorating this point, it's unclear how much of this represents internalized self-loathing based on the societal standards and prejudices discussed at length. Internalized self-loathing is hard to assess, but clearly not all otaku share the traits discussed above.

In addition, another similar point has been raised: How much of otaku's desire towards characters is genuine, and how much is there to avoid engaging with things and people one would rather not have to deal with?

This can be borne out in two ways: On the one hand, critics such as the ones featured in the first two sections would perhaps assert that otaku 'really desire' 'real girls', but are too scared to engage with them. This is no doubt based on the previously elucidated idea that these critics cannot imagine a masculinity that is not premised on desiring and being 'successful' with women, but we needn't buy into that idea. It is certainly plausible that a subset of otaku do not genuinely prefer interactions with characters to 'real people', and for those, the self-descriptions above might not hold - that is, these people would rather have interactions with three-dimensional people, but don't. Certainly, the split assessment of media like the aforementioned Train Man within the otaku community points to a less homogeneous picture than painted above. fnv:{c::FreedmanTrainMan;; § 37}

On the other hand, the criticism has been raised that the disengagement from 'real women' is in fact a rejection of women who have agency, either on the part of a larger Japanese society that cannot brook women who are not subservient to men at all times, or specifically on the part of otaku, more specifically those involved with lolicon. fnv:{c::SavageJusLooking:38f;;} These often point to the prevalence of rape storylines within this media, but also raise the criticism that no matter what, images cannot say 'no.'fn:{Walkerdine (1997), as cited in Savage (2015), p. 39} In addition, 'nerdy' fan communities tend to be sexist in their outlook, the otaku community being no exception. fnv:{c::SalterToxicGeekMasc:8;;; c::GalOtaku:93;;} However, in light of their othered status within Japanese society, it seems a little ridiculous to claim that otaku somehow represent the avant-garde of Japanese patriarchal reaction. What we find is probably similar to the assessment by c::TagaRethinkingJaMasc;;, that fierce competition within otaku subcultures might be in part a sign of the reproduction of the patriarchal, hierarchical relationships otaku desire to leave behind. fnv:{c::TagaRethinkingJaMasc:162;;}

I want to break free

In how far we believe in the positive narratives of otaku, it is hopefully clear that the negative narratives rest not so much on any feature of otaku as such, but rather on the fears and desires of the society itself. This all does not remain without consequences: Fear of being labeled an otaku and especially being labeled a lolicon or worse, a child porn fetishist, has had chilling effects on the expression and publication of material many times, both in the US and Japan. In the US, some people have served jail time for the possession of lolicon manga. fnv:{c::GalCoolJapan:119ff;;} Perhaps worse, as we have seen, these narratives feed a culture of self-loathing within these communities - where they are not shut down by authorities. fnv:{c::GalAkiba;;} Certainly, there are people who are otaku but would rather not be, and their identities should not be seen as invalid. In this vein, more research is needed into the more contradictory aspects of otaku culture. However, unless we are willing to say that we are happy with the way mainstream society links relationships, competition, and capitalism, limits the forms of affection it considers legitimate, and prevents any kind of imaginative play, we should not be too hasty to dismiss otaku. We may have something to learn from them.